WoW Forever time off: the top 10 most WTF excuse emails

A gamer wearing a headset proudly holds an envelope sealed with wax while his panicked manager drops his coffee cup in an open-plan office overlooking a castle, under the French text MAILS D'EXCUSE, TOP 10 POUR TES CONGÉS, WOW FOREVER

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This article is meant as a joke. These emails are written for laughs. Sending them for real is at your own risk, ideally to a manager with a great sense of humour.

According to Blizzard’s announcement, WoW Forever launches on November 4 at 3 p.m. Pacific time, around midnight in France. Fifteen days of rushing to level 60 call for fifteen days of WoW Forever time off. And fifteen days off call for an email to your manager.

Everyone knows how to write the sober email: dates, a handover, thanks. It works perfectly well, it’s just a little sad. So we wrote thirty improbable excuses and kept the ten best. Here they are, ranked from tenth to first, and the first is also the most baffling of them all.

What comes next, lasting fifteen days without starving or collapsing, is covered in our survival guide.

The top 10 excuse emails for your WoW Forever time off

#10

The very distant dentist

For the manager who doesn’t know the geography of Azeroth

A gamer with a headset, backpack and walking pole arrives through the snow at a dwarven fortress carved into the mountain, under a giant carved tooth, where a bearded dwarf dentist welcomes him with huge pliers

Subject: Medical appointment

Hello,

I have a dentist appointment from November 4 to 18. It’s far. Very far. In Ironforge, to be exact, and you have to cross Dun Morogh on foot to get there.

The practice has no phone, and no electricity as we understand it.

Credibility: 3/10. Dwarves are known to be fine craftsmen.

The chair warranty

For the manager who respects contracts

A gamer with a headset, sitting in a throne-like gaming chair, studies a huge assembly manual through a magnifying glass, under a big wall stopwatch, among empty pizza boxes and cans

Subject: Contractual obligation

Hello,

My new gaming chair is only covered by its warranty if it gets tested fourteen hours a day during its first fifteen days. It’s in the fine print of the manual, page 47.

I have no choice: without this test, I lose the warranty. Thank you for your understanding in this case of force majeure.

Credibility: 2/10. Print a fake manual, just in case.

The very local snowstorm

For the manager who never checks the weather

On a sunny autumn street, a black cloud dumps a snowstorm on a single house, where a gamer with a headset smiles at his computer by a fireplace, watched by stunned neighbours in t-shirts

Subject: Weather alert, unable to travel

Hello,

A violent snowstorm is forecast from November 4 to 18. It will only hit a very small area: Dun Morogh, and my bedroom.

The roads will be impassable. I will stay sheltered and warm, by the fireplace of the Kharanos inn.

Credibility: 2/10. Check the real forecast before sending.

Professional development

For the manager obsessed with upskilling

A gamer with a headset in a graduation gown and cap, diploma in hand, haggles with a grinning goblin behind a stall covered in gold coins, potions and swords, a castle in the background

Subject: Training leave request

Hello,

From November 4 to 18, I would like to attend an intensive training course: project management in a hostile environment, commercial negotiation (auction house), logistics (a sixteen-slot inventory), and managing international teams at night.

The final certificate is called « level 60 ». No country recognises it.

Credibility: 4/10. Don’t put that certificate on your CV.

Team building for forty

For the manager who loves seminars

In a meeting room, a gamer with a headset presents a battle plan on a flip chart map to a dwarf, an elf archer, an orc and a wizard, while a dragon presses its eye against the window

Subject: Skills development initiative

Hello,

From November 4 to 18, I am running a team-building seminar with 39 external colleagues. Topics covered: leadership in a crisis, real-time team coordination, and aggression management (ours, and the dragons’).

I’ll send you a report when I’m back. It will be long.

Credibility: 6/10. HR loves the word « seminar ».

The right to be forgotten

For the manager who fears the legal department

In an open-plan office, a giant pink eraser wipes out a gamer with a headset who dissolves into blue and gold particles, next to a board covered in sticky notes and two stunned coworkers

Subject: Request under the right to be forgotten

Hello,

Under my right to be forgotten, I ask the company to forget me from November 4 to 18 inclusive. Please stop processing any of my data during that period, especially my name on the schedule.

I reserve the right to reappear on the 19th.

Credibility: 5/10. The company lawyer will love it.

A retreat at the Scarlet Monastery

For the manager who has never played WoW

A gamer with a headset in a red monk robe meditates with a smile in a candlelit gothic hall, a computer hidden under his robe, surrounded by stern monks leaning on their swords

Subject: Fifteen-day spiritual retreat

Hello,

I need to refocus. I’m going on a retreat at the Scarlet Monastery from November 4 to 18. The monks are very welcoming, if a little fanatical, and I’ve been promised I’ll come back transformed.

Phones forbidden. Swords allowed.

Credibility: 5/10. Never send it to someone who played in 2005.

Best man at Hogger’s wedding

For the manager who cares about family events

In a flowery clearing, a hyena-headed gnoll in a tuxedo and top hat waits under a rose arch, next to a gamer with a headset, his best man, holding the ring box, a castle in the distance

Subject: Family event

Hello,

I’m the best man at an old friend’s wedding, Hogger, from November 4 to 18. The ceremony takes place in Elwynn Forest. Hogger is a bit of a wild one, but he has a good heart.

The celebrations last fifteen days, it’s a gnoll tradition.

Credibility: 4/10. Every player knows Hogger has never been invited anywhere.

The server migration

For the manager who works in IT

A gamer with a headset, controller in hand, sits cross-legged inside a server rack under an empty glowing loading bar, while two technicians scratch their heads down the aisle

Subject: [MAINTENANCE] Scheduled downtime

Hello everyone,

A server migration is scheduled on the resource [first name] from November 4 to 18. A full service outage is expected for the entire duration of the operation.

No data loss is expected. The resource will come back with a major update (level 60).

The technical team of me, myself and I

Credibility: 6/10. Your manager might reply with a ticket.

Just the truth

For every manager, and that’s the worrying part

A gamer with a headset, bathed in golden light, hands a blank sheet to his manager, who sits open-mouthed behind his desk, coffee cup in hand, in front of a city view

Subject: Time off, November 4 to 18

Hello,

I spent three days trying to come up with an excuse. None of them held up. So here it is: a game comes out on November 4, I’ve been waiting for it for twenty years, and I’d like fifteen days off to play it with my guild.

The handover is ready. Thank you.

Credibility: 10/10. The most WTF move of all is still telling the truth.

If your manager replies, comebacks at the ready

A good salesperson always has an answer ready. Now you do too.

Your manager says	Your comeback
« Is this a joke? »	« Only the subject line. The dates are very serious. »
« Who’s Hogger? »	« A childhood friend. He has a temper, but he’s very attached to Elwynn Forest. »
« The Scarlet Monastery doesn’t exist. »	« It’s not on Google Maps, true. That’s part of its charm. »
« Who’s handling your work? »	« [Colleague]. The handover is attached, between the chair manual and my training diploma. »
« Will you stay reachable? »	« Once a day, around 6 p.m., between two dungeons. »
« No. »	« Fine. I’ll send you number one on the list. »

Whatever email you pick, a real handover will always do more for your WoW Forever time off than the best joke. Once you have the signature, you can prepare your build tonight in the talent calculator, the gear to aim for is in the BiS List (the list of the best items for each specialization), and the rush food is ranked in the WoW Forever survival guide. And if your excuse beats ours, the comments are open.